A Window Into My Psyche

The exhaustion factor of pregnancy has finally hit me. This could have more to do with the fact that we have had loads of company staying with us off and on for the last three weeks, but I’m sure being pregnant doesn’t help energy levels there!

I don’t help myself at all either. If I were a car, I think I would have two gears: drive and overdrive. There isn’t a switch for “slow” or “stop,” but I am seriously considering seeing a mechanic to have one put in. Everyone tells me to take a break, slow down, relax, but that’s easier said than done, especially if you lived in my mind. Allow me to give you a window into this frenzied psyche by giving a typical example of a typical morning.

I sleep restlessly, waking up to go to the bathroom 5-7 times, and each time running through a mental checklist of what I need to do the following day. Sometimes it helps to simply keep a notepad by my bed to write these things down so I can let them go until morning.

When I wake up, I head to the kitchen, start a pot of coffee, and think about doing my physical therapy. But first Friedrich must be awakened. However, it’s freezing in the house (we like it cool when we sleep), so I turn the heat on for 5 minutes to get it back up to 70* before I uncover the bird.

While I wait for the house to warm up, I go back over to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher and realize the coffee pot has turned itself off without finishing, a bad habit it has gotten into. I press “start” again, and continue to unload the dishwasher. As I am putting the bowls away, I think breakfast might be a good idea after I am done with the dishwasher.  While unloading the dishwasher, though, it would be nice to have some music playing, so I turn on the computer. While I am at the desk, I see my list of things to do and begin prioritizing them. I see a couple of phone calls I could make and do so while I wait for the computer to boot up and finish unloading the dishwasher. I restart the coffee pot again.

Oh, yes, Friedrich. I uncover him and change his food and water. While I am refiling his water, I realize I am incredibly thirsty, so I fill up my water bottle. That leaves the water pitcher near empty, so I decide to refill it. However, because the dishwasher was full, there are dishes in the sink that need to be put in the now empty dishwasher so I can fit the water pitcher into the sink. I restart the coffee pot.

Leaving the pitcher on the counter, I rinse the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, and remember breakfast.  However, I still haven’t done my therapy, and my back is clicking in and out of place, and my feet are beginning to ache. Breakfast will be a nice break…after I finish my therapy.  I slowly and carefully lower my weighty body onto the floor and do my exercises, remembering that I need to check my email so I can place that Mary Kay order. Oh, and there are clean clothes in the dryer that need to be folded and another load that needs to be started. I should throw the kitchen rags in with that load.

As I head to the kitchen to get said rags, I see a Kleenex on the end table and throw it away. But the trash is full, so I take it out. While I am taking the trash out, I realize we are nearly out of bags and reach for my shopping list to add them. That’s when I remember I still haven’t eaten anything yet. As I turn to grab a bowl from the cupboard, clicking the coffee on again, I notice the water pitcher on the counter. That’s right, I haven’t refilled it yet, due to the dishes in the sink. I refill the pitcher and put it back into the fridge, moving the thawing steaks as I do so. I should get those marinating so they’ll be delicious for tonight.

I set about marinating the steaks, and now there are more dishes to be done, and the counters need wiping down.  My legs are about to give way, and I think sitting for a minute would be ideal.  The coffee is finally done, and I should check my email.  An email from Wal-Mart says our crib is in! Reprioritize list, adding “pick up crib and mattress” to the top…Now that means we need to build it at some point, and I have a ton of baby clothes in various piles on the floor that someone gave us.  Add that to list.  Oh, the laundry!

As I am unloading and reloading the laundry, I am suddenly hit with a wave of low blood sugar and realize it’s 11:30 and I haven’t eaten anything yet.  I run to the kitchen to pour myself some cereal, but it’s too late.  Ironically, after being sick I feel much better and sit on the couch to eat some dry Cheerios, hoping to slowly boost my blood sugar back to a decent level before returning to my frenzy.

And that’s what I’m doing right now as I write this post.  Finally. After detailing what goes on in my mind and why I forget to eat and can’t seem to stop (there’s always something more to be done!), I see disturbing similarities between myself and the children’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” The basic premise is of that story is “If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk to go with it, and when you get him the milk, it will remind him of this, but then he’ll think of that, and do this, and remember that, etc. etc. until both he and the little boy collapse in exhaustion.” Maybe I should write a spin-off series.  Wait, that’s one more thing to add to my list…:-)

Cloth Diapering 101

I have vague childhood recollections of helping my mom with my little brother’s cloth diapers.  I would have been somewhere between 3-5, but I distinctly remember plunging them in the toilet, and a tub full of cloth diapers. Unfortunately, that is all I remember about it, but just that memory has inspired me to look into cloth diapering in this day and age and see if it’s right for us and our little ones.

I have two main reasons for wanting to cloth diaper:

1) Cost efficiency. “Diaper Changes” by Theresa Rodriguez Farrisi calculates that $2180 is spent on disposable diapers from birth to potty training, while a person can cloth diaper for $1,250 and then reuse those same diapers for at least 2-3 kids!! So while disposables are literally throwing money down the trash can, cloth diapers are actually an investment.

2) Environment.  I am not a tree hugger.  I’m not even nearly as “green” as I should be, but I still see that we have a responsibility to take care of the earth that God has given us.  After all, we only have one!  Disposable diapers go straight into landfills and will never break down into anything usable again.  This doesn’t even mention the chemicals used in those diapers to make them so white and absorbent, or the fact that those landfills are full of feces. (Apparently, the manufacturers recommend knocking off the waste into the toilet before throwing diapers and wipes away, but who does that??)  At any rate, it’s only common sense that at some point, we will run out of landfill space, and that’s probably not going to be very long since the United States throws us a whopping eighteen billion disposables in any given year.  I just don’t really want to contribute to that:-)

With these two main factors in mind, I plunged into research on cloth diapering.  I read books, perused dozens of websites, and found myself more convinced than ever that cloth diapering was right for me.  A lot of people think it’s a lot of extra work, but once you get the hang of it, it really isn’t much more work than disposables–especially with some of the amazing options they have nowadays!

I soon found myself completely overwhelmed by the amount of choices I had in cloth diapering.   No longer is it your simple Chinese prefold, I now have to consider contour, fitted, pocket, and all-in-ones!  Because I find these diaper revolutions so amazing, I had to share a bit about them along with our conclusions.

First option, and of course the cheapest, is the Chinese prefold.  Everyone has probably seen these! But no longer do they have those scary huge safety pins! You can either use a Snappi or, my personal favorite option, simply fold the diaper and place it inside a Thirsties diaper cover, velcro over Baby, and voila! Stays in place and soaks up the necessaries:-)

Prefold

Diaper cover

Slightly less complicated and for a few dollars more are the contour diapers.  These simply skip the step of folding, but still require a cover.  Doublers can be added for extra absorbancy.

Contour

For another jump in price and a little extra convenience, there is the pocket diaper.  This has a pocket into which to place your doubler and a sewn on cover, so there are only really two steps to this diaper.  Most options have multiple snaps so diaper can grow with baby.

Pocket Diaper

And for our most expensive, most convenient option, we find the all-in-one.  This acts just like a disposable except you throw it in the wash instead of the trash after use.  These cost a pretty penny and tend to wear out faster, but they are at least handy for babysitters or grandparents:-) This also has options to “grow with baby.”

All-in-One

After much deliberation and confusion, I finally decided to just drive into Naperville to walk into a real cloth diaper store and choose what I wanted.  After the saleswoman went through all the options once again, I was firmly settled: the prefolds are by far the cheapest, and they really aren’t that complicated!

So, along with a couple of the other kinds for being out-and-about and babysitters, that’s what we got.  For the last four days, I have been washing and air drying these diapers multiple times so they can reach their maximum absorbancy.  In a couple days, I will go buy the changing table and put everything in its place.  Now I just can’t wait to fasten one of them on this Little Guy!

Feelin’ Like Mommy

I just finished cutting the tags off all the baby clothes we got at the shower to wash them all.  I also pulled out a bunch of the stuff that has been sitting in the back of the closet waiting for the right time to come out…now is that time!

I loaded all the bottles and pacifiers into the dishwasher to sterilize them–yay! Just looking at that makes me feel like a Mommy!

Photo Shoot

My sister-in-law is a photographer, and we took the opportunity to take a few “pregnancy pictures” while we were there.  Here is the result:

Strange things begin happening when one is being photographed so often...

Just about every third picture had Stephen making some silly face or another

Love this one. Smirking at Stephen for making so many silly faces

Testing out the white backdrop to see if it's too wrinkled to use. It is.

Showers of Blessing

I’ve been looking forward to my baby showers since, well, before this Little Guy was even in existence! But the anticipation has been building the closer we get to a due date (I’m now in my 3rd trimester!), and my first shower was scheduled for this weekend in the Quad Cities. Stephen’s family and some church friends were throwing the shower for us, and I have all sorts of creative and talented sisters-in-law who had way too much fun whipping up a lovely baby shower. Really, it about blew my socks off!

I was especially excited about this shower, since I felt that much of the attention would be diverted from me to the baby. I hate being the center of attention, but I figured with a baby shower, even the gifts I’m opening are more about the baby than me, so I can enjoy it without so much pressure!

But then I walked into the room full of women (some I knew well, some I didn’t know at all!), and I about panicked as all eyes turned to me and then dropped to examine my rounding belly. Oh shoot! I thought. I forgot that everyone will be so curious to see me “showing” and will want to pat my belly and croon over either how big I am getting or how tiny I am still (I get both on a regular basis, and it really is quite humorous that the opinions are so inconsistent).

So I swallowed hard and went around the room saying hi to everyone, because I may feel totally awkward, but they don’t.  They’re there to celebrate!  After a delicious brunch, we tore into the gifts–and there were mounds of them! I am totally overwhelmed and blessed by the wonderful gifts we received from so many people who love us and are praying for this Little Blessing.  God has truly been good to us, and we pray that we may continue to praise his name for it!

The shower theme was A. A. Milne's classic Pooh--my favorite!

DeAnna made 84 chocolate and pumpkin cupcakes and wrote on them "I'm so rumbly in my tumbly"--Classic Pooh!

Pretty much the cutest outfit ever!

So cute

Mom W put the bows all over me

Someone asked if the bows represented one for each child. This one is the BIG one!

With Mama and friend, Peggy

So excited for the bump!

Cute and adorable Mom/Grandma!

Baby Things

I have been slowly collecting yarn for my baby blanket (my very own baby’s blanket, this time!) as I have had coupons from Michaels.  I have nearly all of it, and can’t wait to get started…if only I could make sense of the pattern:-\

But here’s a bit of what it will hopefully look like:

I’ve not only been spending my Michael’s coupons on yarn, but I also purchased this Little One’s scrapbook.  I am dying to put the letters to his very own name in the cover!!

Also, while shopping the other day, I found these sweet books marked down and simply had to get them! They are really the very first things we have gotten for this little one, and every time I look at them, I get a thrill!

Can’t wait until I am reading them to him:-)

Baby Belly Bumping

I have been bumping into things with my belly lately.  When people used to talk about this phenomenon, I used to wonder how it could be possible.  It seemed to me that one’s brain would compensate for widening of the features.

However, this is simply not the case.  For whatever reason, your brain and your body don’t connect on this point.  And so, I have been squishing between the car door and the garage wall, bumping into closet doors, and running into Stephen when walking past him. I don’t mind, though.  I’m just glad this little guy is growing!

It is also growing excessively difficult to get off the couch, get out of bed, pick things up off the floor, or put on socks.  Last night, Stephen and I went for a walk, and it was quite crisp out, so I wanted to put shoes and socks on before we headed out.  I got one on, then called Stephen over.

“Stephen, observe how difficult it is to put on this sock” I commanded.  He leaned against the door frame and watched, laughing, as I sat on the bed, pulled my foot up, and struggled to reach over my tummy to pull the sock on.

“The huffing and puffing is my favorite part,” he chortled. I explained that that was completely involuntary and had to do with my esophogus and such being nearly crushed as I attempted to pull on my socks. I’m not sure he believed me:-)

Protrusion of the belly at almost 25 weeks. I know, it'll only get bigger:-)

Pregnancy Anomalies

Being pregnant is a funny thing.  Suddenly, your pregnancy and your baby becomes everyone else’s concern.  Once your baby bump begins to protrude noticeably, most people have an opinion or two they simply must share with you.  I think this probably happens for a number of reasons.  Perhaps people simply want to relate to you.  At times it’s a superiority thing–they’ve been pregnant before and you haven’t, therefore, they must inform you of exactly what to expect, because of course it will happen to you just as it did to them.  A lot of times it is a genuine concern for the life growing within you and wanting to make sure you are being as careful as can be.

Sometimes the advice is helpful; sometimes it is not.  Most times, though, I am finding, what everyone tells me is going to happen now that I am pregnant, has turned out to be just the opposite. 

Here are some of the things people have told me to expect since I’m expecting:

“Your finger nails will get extremely hard, and your hair will grow like weeds.”  I wish this were true.  My hair has always been the bane of my existence, as I have always wanted long hair; and I mean really long hair.  It grows at just above the speed of a snail, and unfortunately has not increased that rate at all while pregnant.  Also, my nails used to be brittle as could be, but a few years back, they miraculously became about as hard as rocks so I could finally grow them out.  Now they are breaking continuously.

“Your morning sickness will go away after the 12th week.” An absolute lie. (My favorite, though, is when I tell people I’m still sick at 20 weeks along, and they reply with all these solutions, to which I respond I have tried all of them to no avail.  That’s when they look at me with the look of Mrs. Elton in Emma, when she suggests taking her father to Bath, as it would do “vast amounts of good for his health.” When Emma responds that he has been to Bath and it did him no good, Mrs. Elton turns to her with a look of indignance and responds, “No, it will do him good!”)

Along that theme, “You won’t start getting sick until at least 5-6 weeks along.”  Also quite untrue in my case.  As soon as this little guy made himself comfortable in the lining of my uterus, I was sick. Really sick.

“If you don’t eat, your baby will starve.  You have got to make sure you eat and keep it down!” There are so many problems with this statement, not the least of which is the stress it places on feeble, queasy, guilty Mama.  Proper nutrition is one of the most important aspects of pregnancy, so I am already feeling guilty enough that every food except fruit makes me queasy.  And even if I get something down, the chances of me keeping it down are slim.  Seriously, though, do you think I am throwing up because I enjoy it?!  But the statement about “starve yourself, starve your baby” simply is not true.  God has designed it so that if Mama can’t keep her food down, Baby simply draws off of Mama’s reserves.  So Mama suffers, but Baby grows nice and strong.  Case in point: After incredible difficulty eating for this entire pregnancy, this Little One is bigger than average and healthy as an ox. I’m just a little more brittle than I used to be:-)

“Your sense of smell is going to increase like nobody’s business!” My Mom and Brother can’t smell worth a plugged nickel.  I believe I inherited their lack of sense of smell in a triple dose of extremely sensitive nose.  I can smell something three rooms away.  This extremely sensitive nose would come and go in waves before I was pregnant and at times make me pause as I took out the trash, nearly gagging, and wonder if perhaps I was pregnant.  However, (thankfully) my nose has not increased in sensitivity since being pregnant.  It was simply sensitive to begin with.

“You will be starving all the time!” I’ve never had much of an appetite, but I believe I have even less of a stomach than I did before I was expecting.  For instance, I used to be able to polish off at least 2-3 ears of corn at a meal.  I can now no longer finish one, no matter how delicious.  I have to remind myself to eat simply because it’s been a couple of hours, but not because I’m hungry.

“You will have all sorts of cravings.” Alas, this is not true either.  But perhaps I still have time to develop this one.  As yet, I only have aversions.  Before I was pregnant, I had very intense cravings, a couple times a week, specifically for chocolate and Pepsi.  If a craving would come upon me, there was nothing I could do to quench it.  A Pepsi must be purchased, and brownies must be made.  Now, brownies aren’t all that appealing, and Pepsis sit in my fridge for weeks before I finally decide perhaps a few sips would be nice with a certain meal.

“You will be irritable, grumpy, and cry on your poor husband over nothing. Constantly.” I have always been the type to tear up at a sweet song, commercial, or when Matthew dies in Anne of Green Gables.  This remains unchanged and has neither increased nor decreased since the positive pregnancy test.  As for my moods, even Stephen testifies that I have not been irritable, irrational, or moody during this pregnancy. In fact, I feel less inclined to snap or despair at random things.

“You are going to be so exhausted!!” We lived with friends during my 6-13th week of pregnancy, and shortly after arriving, my friend found out that she was also expecting.  From the beginning, she was exhausted.  She took 2-3 naps a day and was still tired. I, on the other hand, laid in bed at 4 am, wide awake, wondering if the sun was about to rise so I could get on with my day.  I have taken two naps my entire pregnancy, neither of which I actually fell asleep during.  I have more energy than I have ever had before.

I think the conclusion I have drawn is that I seem to be the reverse of every other pregnant person.  All these things that people speak of happened to me more before I was pregnant than now that I am.  Perhaps this could be true of labor, too?

Introducing Baby Willcox

As most of you know by now, we are expecting an addition to our family some time around the new year! Last week, we got to have our ultrasound, see the baby, and find out that it is a boy! He was 1 lb. 8 oz. and appears perfectly healthy. What a relief and a blessing!

I have attached the two photos the technician gave us. It was indescribably amazing to see our baby bumping around in there!! We can’t wait to hold him in our arms:-)

Here's his sweet profile. As she clicked the picture, he arched his back and opened his mouth!

Here's a view from the top. His face, an arm, elbow, and leg.

The Benefits of Unemployment

We have officially been unemployed for almost 3 weeks now. We moved in with friends 4 1/2 weeks ago. The job search continues. We have two promising leads this afternoon. I’ll keep you posted.

While having half of my stuff packed away and not knowing where anything is has been frustrating, there are some benefits to being done with school and being temporarily without work. Stephen and I have been spending ALOT of time together lately, and it has been wonderful! We have noticed a substantial relaxation in each of us since moving out of the city, and we’ve been enjoying all sorts of things that used to stress us out (read: stress ME out. I’m the uptight one). We have been going shopping together, sitting on the couch reading, driving door-to-door to pick up applications, talking a bunch, and walking around this peaceful neighborhood.

This afternoon we washed (and practically detailed the inside of) our new car.  We had this new dirt devil with a bunch of sweet attachments that we tried out, and the car looks like we brought it home from the dealer!  This afternoon, I’m going to bake pumpkin bread for a party I’m going to tonight, and Stephen has two interviews.  Hoping to be employed soon, but finding little blessings in this season of waiting:-)