Videos of Jeshuah

Okay, I realize it’s been awhile since I posted any pictures or videos of the Little Guy. Sorry, Grandparents! Here are quite a few–I thought I’d make up for lost time;-)

He’s growing and changing so fast. He’s fitting into some new and adorable outfits, and that’s fun!

Tummy Time

Stephen feeds Jeshuah his bottle

Looking intently at the wall

He had just been smiling adorably, but we missed it:-(

Layin’ around

Representing God the Father

Since Jeshuah was born, I have a whole new appreciation for parents of all ages, with any number of children.  I was a nanny for four years before my own little one came along.  I cared for numerous infants, toddlers, and older children.  I felt equipped and prepared to care for my own child.

But the instant Jeshuah was born, I was overwhelmed with the weight of my responsibility to this child as his parent.  The difference between babysitting a baby and mothering a baby is astronomical!  God has entrusted Jeshuah’s life into my hands, and I was overwhelmed by the weight of this burden.  The Lord has been refining my mindset on this issue, gradually removing some of the anxiety and lack of trust in His ultimate care for Jeshuah, but I still bear the realization that Jehsuah is mine to care for, which is as it should be.

I have been dwelling on how we as parents represent God the Father to our children.  Our children will form their understanding of how God is by how they see us act.  This can be an accurate (though flawed) representation of God or an inaccurate one.  How does an accurate representation look, practically?

One of my parenting philosophies, and I know people disagree on this, is that babies need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep.  I have struggled with insomnia for as long as I can remember.  I have an incredibly difficult time falling and staying asleep, and if conditions are not exactly so, I have no hope of falling asleep, no matter how exhausted I am.  It’s been extremely frustrating for me, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone!

This is only one of the reasons why I agree with the self-soothing philosophy.  I don’t want my little one to have the same handicaps I have when it comes to sleep. I don’t want him to have to be dependent on nursing to sleep, rocking to sleep, the lighting being just right, or a certain sound being present or not present.  I believe it serves babies better to allow them to learn to fall asleep without sleep props.  They will ultimately have an easier time sleeping, and parents won’t be as stressed out, tiptoeing out of the room or yelling at people for ringing the doorbell.

But listening to your baby cry is agonizing!  The first couple of days we started letting Jeshuah cry it out, I sat on the couch and cried myself! The only thing that kept me from going in to him was knowing that he will be so much better for learning this, and believing that he is capable of falling asleep on his own.  (For the record, he usually only cries for 5 minutes before drifting off to sleep now, and sometimes he doesn’t cry at all!).

Another truth that helped is the realization that God does not always instantly gratify our desires.  Yes, he comforts and loves and cares for us, and I do that for Jeshuah on a regular basis.  But sometimes he stands “far off” and allows us to cry.  Sometimes he is silent when we call out to him.  Stephen found this verse this morning, and I feel that it drives this point home.  Psalm 10:1 says, “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”.

There are times as parents that we will not give our children what they desire, because we know what is better for them than they know for themselves.  There are times that God does this for us as well.  And yet He has never really left us; He never forsakes us.  I have never really left Jeshuah, I simply know that it is ultimately better for him to fall asleep on his own than to be dependent on me to help him sleep.

So we represent Father in many other ways than simply meeting our child’s needs and instantly gratifying their desires.  Sometimes we represent Him by disciplining our little ones.  Sometimes we represent Him by encouraging them to wait a bit before they get what they need.  Other times we model Him by soothing and cuddling our crying little one.  But always we should represent Him by loving our children enough to sacrifice our very lives for them.  And that is a heavy responsibility.  May I live up to it!

Cloth Diapering: Trial and Error

A few months ago, I posted some of my research on cloth diapers for your entertainment.  Well, now that our Little One is here in the flesh, we have been trying them all out and seeing just how well they work.  I feel like we’re kind of doing trial and error here, but we’re learning a lot.  I have had many friends who were interested in my findings, so I thought a post about my experience might come in handy.

I wanted to go for the most economical diaper route possible, so I invested chiefly in prefolds.  At just under $2 a diaper, you can’t go wrong, right?  They do require a cover, but I was told I’d only need 3-4, since they usually don’t get soiled and can be reused multiple times before they need washing.  Unfortunately, Jeshuah soiled four covers in one day, because he kept leaking over the prefold.  I love Thirsties duowrap covers because of their flexibility in size and the way they fit around his thighs.  Only once has he needed his onesie changed due to leaking. I thought I might need to invest in a few more covers, but when I checked the price, I balked. They are $11 a piece!  By the time you put the $2 prefold in there, if he needs a new cover every time, I’m spending $13 a diaper.

At that price, I might as well buy the incredibly wonderful and convenient all-in-ones.  I bought both Thirsties all-in-ones and BumGenius’. After trying both (Each $16/piece), I am torn between which I like better.  I love the BumGenius because it is so soft and fits him very well.  The Thirsties is not quite as soft, and the top of it seems to keep folding down and irritating his soft skin.  However, it has that wonderful duowrap feature at his thighs again that keeps anything from sneaking out.  The only downfall of the all-in-ones is their lengthy dry time.  Even with the 20 minutes in the dryer, it still takes them at least 24 hours to dry, and that’s when I turn them inside out.  (Not drying in the dryer extends their lifespans).

My biggest disappointment has been with BumGenius EconoBum product.  They’re supposed to be “one-size fits all” prefolds and covers, but they are so bulky on a newborn (and Jeshuah isn’t even a small newborn!), I couldn’t even get him close enough to nurse!  The covers are also ridiculous, with so many snaps and extra fabric it hangs all over the place.  And when we got it to finally fit snuggly around his thigh, it was too tight on his poor tummy.  I will be putting a call into the manfactorer and see what they can do for me.

Those were going to be my Medium size diapers.  Now I have to decide if I am going to buy the next size up in prefolds and covers, or if I should simply buy the medium all-in-ones and be done with it.

My greatest satisfaction is in the cloth wipes and wipe warmer I purchased.  I purchased two kinds of wipes: Kissaluvs terry and Comfy Bummy wipes.  The terry wipes are fantastic for cleaning up messy diapers.  In Jeshuah’s blowout this morning, one wipe cleaned him completely!  The other wipes are a lighter weight, and I typically use those if it’s just a wet diaper.  I keep them moist in Prince Lionheart’s Warmies Wipes Warmer.  This is incredibly convenient and useful!  However, the bamboo wipes that come with it, while some of the softest I’ve ever felt, shredded the first time I put them in the wash! Not impressed.

Overall, I am seriously enjoying cloth diapering.  I’m in the swing of things, and the routine is really quite easy.  Every time I look at my drying rack full of diapers, my heart thrills at how much money I saved and how many fewer diapers are in a landfill.  In the next couple of days, I intend to calculate exactly how much extra time it takes to cloth diaper.  I am guessing an extra 10 minutes a day. If that.

I will also post details of how I tend to the dirty diapers and all those great details:-)

My Amazing Mom

My Mom left for home today after being here for a week that flew past.  As I was being discharged from the hospital, I received instructions to do “no cooking, cleaning, laundry, going up and down stairs, etc.”  So basically…I couldn’t do anything around the house! I had no idea about the recovery process after giving birth!

So I was even more thankful that Mom had blocked off a week to come and help us out.  She was invaluable advice when I was at my wits’ end with nursing.  She has guided me through getting him to sleep better.  She cooked delicious meals and then cleaned them all up, so I kept looking over from the couch at a sparkling kitchen and saying, “This feels so weird. My kitchen is spotless, and I didn’t do a thing!”  She must have done twenty loads of laundry, folded, and put them away.  She took Jeshuah when my arms couldn’t hold him anymore.  She helped me figure out how to wash cloth diapers.  She cried with me when I broke down from sheer exhaustion.  She prayed with me when my heart was anxious about how to do this mothing thing.  I could go on and on…but you get the idea!

I am so thankful for Dad loaning her to us for this week so that he had to eat out every meal:-)  I am thankful to her for losing much sleep at night so that I could get some!  I have the most amazing parents, and I just wanted to praise them a little bit to let them know just how much I appreciate them!

A Guide to Jeshuah’s Name

For those of you wondering, here’s a guide to Jeshuah’s name.  Yes, we know it’s not a name many of you have probably heard before, but it’s awfully special to both of us, so we’d like to help you out with a few things:-)

Spelling: It IS spelled with an “h” at the end, contrary to the first text messages Stephen sent out (oops!).

Pronunciation: It is pronounced Je-shu’a. The emphasis is on the “shu”.

Meaning: “Yahweh is Deliverance” or “The Lord Saves.” That’s what we love most about the name right there–his name itself is a testimony to Jesus Christ our Savior!

Here are some photos of Jeshuah Paul Willcox.

I think he is smilin'

The new willcox family!

Jeshuah sure does love his Grandma Sharon!

Isn't he handsome?

Momma and Baby.

Baby’s First Video!

This video was taken just seconds after his birth.

Lack of Pictures

I am working off an old Mac that doesn’t have picture software…I am lame at figuring these things out, but once Stephen gets up, I will be able to post some pictures of this little one for your viewing pleasure!

Jeshuah Paul Willcox

Yes, it’s an unusual name, but it’s his! I stumbled across it in the Old Testament some years ago and was struck by every reference to the man thrown into lineages and mentioned in passing. He was a faithful high priest, he raised many children. And his name means “Yahweh is deliverer” or “The Lord Saves.” It is actually almost the same Hebrew name as Joshua and Jesus, simply a different spelling, and I love the meaning of that name. Early in my pregnancy, I knew that this little man was to be our Jeshuah, and that he was to point people to the Lord that saves–the Lord Jesus Christ whose birth we remember so very close to his own birth!

Paul means “small, humble.” I must admit I was hoping for a Bundle that proved just a wee bit smaller than 8 lbs, but I’ll take 8 lbs!! He is named for three men–The Apostle Paul (instrumental in our sanctification), our dear friend Paul Cheshier (we love this man and his family!), and the missionary/preacher Paul Washer (with whom we credit “saving our marriage” and ministry:).

Stephen and I had agreed on the name a long time ago, but recently, how we would spell it became a controversy. We still hadn’t figured it out yet when I went into labor, and in the middle of my agonies, Stephen said I was doing so great, and I could have the “h” at the end of Jeshuah! I remembered that, let me tell you!!

And so here we have our little Jeshuah Paul. Can hardly wait to see what the Lord has planned for him!

Unto Us a Child is Born

Last night at 11:02, Jeshuah Paul Willcox entered the world! He is a healthy 8 lbs. and is 20 inches long and seems to be enjoying his time out of the womb:-)

It was all really quite amazing, how it happened. On Monday I felt lousy all day and had minor contractions. I felt super weird and had an inkling that Stephen and I should celebrate our “Christmas” Tuesday morning instead of waiting for the 25th. He agreed, and we excitedly looked forward to spending the day opening presents, eating cinnamon rolls, and making brunch together.

My contractions continued into the night and Tuesday, and I called Mom to give her a status report. She said she and Dad had been looking at the weather and thought if she was going to be able to come for Baby’s birth (which we were hoping would happen!), she probably should just leave and hang out until the Little Guy made his appearance–however long that might be!

Even though I was feeling progressively crummier, I still had the “this baby will never actually be born” delusion going on and felt really bad to steal Mom from Dad and The Kid for such a long period of time to just wait around. But Stephen thought it’d be a good idea, too, so I squelched my false guilt and just tried to think of it as a nice visit with Mom.

She arrived at 6pm. Thirty minutes later, we were visiting on the couch and Pops called to check up on her. Just as she said, “Nope, she’s not in active labor,” my water broke!! Within an hour, we were heading to the hospital, and a total of 4 1/2 hours later, Jeshuah entered the world of the breathing!

The Lord’s goodness was so evident during the whole process, I am continually overwhelmed by it. Stephen and I had a sweet Christmas Tuesday morning. Mom made it for the delivery. She never would have gotten here in time if she had waited for the “I’m in labor” phone call we all had planned on. I could never have survived labor without Mom and Stephen with me! They were like soild rocks the entire time, breathing with me, reminding me of truth and sweet memories, feeding me ice chips:-) And a major praise is that my back handled the entire thing wonderfully. I went without any medication and cannot believe how strong my back was! I continue to praise God for His goodness regarding that for my whole pregnancy!!

Now everyone is sleeping peacefully–except me:-) I haven’t been able to sleep tonight–probably adrenaline and hormones! But I have gone without sleep for much of my life, and the Lord has always proven faithful to be my strength. I do not doubt He will see me through this phase as well!

I will post more regarding his name, pictures, and his adorableness in subsequent posts.

Thank you all for your prayers–I FELT THEM!!! There was a time of intense panic when things progressed incredibly quickly (and oh, so painfully!) and the baby’s heart rate dropped drastically in response. But all of a sudden, during the last and most intense part of labor, a calm came over me, and I was completely relaxed and peaceful. I can only attribute the drastic change to the many of you faithful friends whom I know were praying into the night for us. Thank you!! We cannot wait for all of you to meet this Little Bundle of Joy!